They Ain't Nothin' You Can Do About It: A Play in One Act

 

 

 

ACT 1  SCENE 1

Two women are sitting on a porch of a two-story white clapboard house with peeling yellow paint.  One sits on a porch swing with a bowl of yellow butter beans in her lap, shelling them briskly.  The other, younger, is sitting on the floorboards.  There is a bowl of unshelled beans laying next to her.  She is fidgety, sitting cross-legged.  It is summer in Haleyville, Alabama, 1972.

 

AUNT MAMA:         Come on, now, you almost done.  What's come over you?                                   Robert Booker can shell 'em faster than that.

 

CHARLSIE:             (placing the bowl in her lap, putting her hand in the bowl and                                         lifting up and dropping the peas)  Oh, Aunt Mama, it's just so                                   hot out.  I hardly got any energy. God, if I have to shell                                         another butter bean, I think I’ll scream. (Starts to sing:  “My                                  fingers are sore, can’t pick up another bean.  When will this                                   end-this agony for me?”)

 

AUNT MAMA:         (shaking her head).  Lord, girl, maybe you do need to go                                    cool off.  You ought to go swimming. You always had energy                               for that.  Go see one of them little old girlfriends of yours.

 

CHARLSIE:             Nah, I think it’s too hot to go swimming.  Anyway, ain’t no                                   one here.   Bunch of ‘em went up to Beeham to that stupid                                 ole’ charm school-Mrs. Mary Pickety-Picks Pick of the Litter-                               How to snatch and keep a good ole’ boy in six easy lessons”                               (exaggerates her voice and posture).

 

AUNT MAMA:         It dudn’t matter, Charlsie, a lady is born, not made.  So ever                                         how many times they practice their posture and rearrange                                    the forks on the table, the truth’s the truth, and they                                  ain't nothing you can do about it.

 

CHARLSIE:           I know, but maybe sometimes even a lady needs a little                                      polishing. but sometimes I  look at them and then at me.  I                                  don’t even look like a girl half the time, Aunt Mama.  I have                                 no figure and I’m taller than most of the boys.  Sometimes I                               feel like they’re all holdin out on some secret and I’m always                               the last to know.  You know what I mean?  It’s not like I really                               care.  I mean, what do they know?  They can’t even hardly                                 hold up their fork without help from their left hand.  It’s just                                  that, sometimes, I wish I knew what they were talkin about.                                Sometimes, I wish I could be let in on the secret, just once.

 

AUNT MAMA:       Girl, that’s just not true.  You know plenty, just like your                                      Mama. And she didn’t have to go tellin’ the whole world she                               knew. (She stops shelling for a moment, sits back in the                                      chair and closes her eyes and smiles.)  You should have                                     seen your mama the first time I laid eyes on her.  Charles                                   was so excited, making up the dining room two days early.                                  But when she walked in, I was so surprised.  He made her                                  out to be so powerful, we all just couldn’t wait to meet her.                                  Then in walks this little old bitty thing.  Her wrists and ankles                               were about the size of your dolls.  And the way she talked!  It                               was so quiet-like.  You had to lean forward just to hear what                                         she was saying.  So there we were, sittin’ at the table,                                         straining our necks just so we wouldn’t miss her say, “Please                             pass the butter beans, Miss Fayrene”.  (Aunt Mama’s voice                                changes slightly). Yeah, there was something else about                                         her, though, that hit you ‘bout the same time as the size of                                     her did. Those big ole’ pretty eyes.  Coal black and they                                         looked right through you, Charlsie.  Just right through you. It                                         was a little spooky.  Poor thing.

 

CHARLSIE:             Did y’all like her right away?

 

AUNT MAMA:         Oh, it wasn’t a question of liking her. I don’t think Charles                                    would have given us any choice about it. But it wasn’t hard.                                 You know how some folks hit you pretty hard the very first                                  time you meet them? And you feel like you’d always known                                 them even though you just laid first eyes on ‘em. Your mama                               was like that.  Oh, boy, you should have seen Charles                                        around her. No, He didn’t give us no choice about liking her.                                 Remember them ole Senterfitt boys?  Well, don’t no one                                     know now what happened to them but long before he met                                   your mama  your Daddy used to run around all night with                                    them. Well, that surely changed. One time he stayed out all                               night with those Senterfitt boys. It was the last time he ever                               did.  The next morning after he came home looking like a                                    drunk skunk she told him, “Charles, I was really worried                                      about you.”  She didn’t even raise her voice. Let  me tell you.                               I never saw anyone lose his appetite so fast. He dropped his                               biscuit like it had been caught afire.  And he loved his                                         biscuits as much as you do.  She just had a way of lookin’ at                                         you, made you feel ashamed.   It was only a few months                                         later that you know, that you came. It had been rainin’ all                                         day.  Charles had gotten stuck in Birmingham because the                                   roads had been too slick and we didn’t really expect you that                        soon. But I never, never, saw anyone struggle so hard.                                      And, after about seven hours of her, screaming-I shouldn’t                                  be telling you this-.

 

CHARLSIE:             It’s my mama we’re talkin’ about.

 

AUNT MAMA:         (Patting her on the hand).  I know, sweetie.  By the time,                                    Charles got here, you were already fed twice, and she                                        (reaches up to rub her eyes) was lying, breathing so low I                                   had to  put my hand over her mouth every few minutes,                                      waiting for her breath to come.   Oh, when that door finally                                  opened and he walked in he was about crazy with worry.  He                               shut the door to us and we heard a few minutes later crying                               and yelling and carrying on. Charles, we told him, open the                                 door. Please will you open the door for us?  Nothng.  But                                    then we heard something, like a cat yelling or in heat or                                      something godawful sounding like that.  Never heard                                          anything like it before. It sounded like one of them black                                      panthers.  It chilled me to the bone.  I pounded on the door,                               but he had locked it. 

 

CHARLSIE:             How long did he stay in there?

 

AUNT MAMA:         All night long, honey.  We were just gettin’ ready to call the                                 Sheriff when the door just opened and he came on out.  He                               just stood there, holding you in his arms. He started singing,                                         humming something, but it wasn’t a lullaby. Lord, I had                                         forgotten how black your hair was.  You weren’t crying or                                         anything, but you had to be hungry.  But it was like you knew                      something we didn’t.  You always did.  Them eyes (shaking                                 her head). Got them same old-seeing eyes of hers.

 

CHARLSIE:             I don’t know what happened to me, then.  Cause I feel like I                               don’t see a damn thing. (AUNT MAMA raises her eyebrows)

 

AUNT MAMA:         He said two things to me, and that’s the last thing I ever                                     heard him say since.  He said, “She’s gone, Fayrene.”  Then                                         he looked down at you in his arrms.  “I think she’s hungry.”                                      We didn’t notice until the next day that he was gone. But I                                  knew he wasn’t coming back. You can’t blame him, baby.                                   He was lost without her. Oh, honey you’ve heard all this                                         before.

 

 

CHARLSIE:             (She has a serious look on her face but when she speaks                                   she tries to appear nonchalant) What place was he working                               at in Birmingham, Aunt Mama? 

 

AUNT MAMA:         Oh, baby, give it up.  You ain’t going to find him.  When                                      someone don’t want to be found, he won’t. 

 

 

CHARLSIE:             (acts as though she hasn’t heard AUNT MAMA speak) I'm                                  tired of swimmin'.  I'm tired of visitin'.  And (putting the bowl                               back down) I'm tired of shellin'.

 

AUNT MAMA:         Well, I hope you tired of eatin’, too, 'cause that's gonna be                                  your supper. (Bends down with a slight groan and takes                                     CHARLSIE’S bowl).  Here, give 'em to me.  I'm ‘bout done,                                 anyway. 

 

 

ACT 1  SCENE 2

 (CHARLSIE is sitting at the counter of the pancake house, staring at a young blonde man who is reading the newspaper.   Sensing that she is watching him, he keeps looking up from the paper. She is waiting for a chance to talk to him.  He puts the paper down.  Just as she gets up to speak to him, someone approaches him.  A young man whom she recognizes from school.  He sees her and whispers something to the young man.  They get up and walk over to her.  She gets nervous, wiping her palms against her skirt.  The one she recognizes puts out his hand).

 

BOY:                      Well, hey there.  You're  Fayrene’s niece, aren't you?                                         (He turns toward the young man).  Her aunt                                                       used to clean mother's house.  (CHARLSIE blushes. The                                    young man pretends not to notice and offers his hand to her,                               smiling)

 

YOUNG MAN:         My name is Hem.  It's very nice to meet you.

 

CHARLSIE:             Him?  H-I-M?  You kiddin' me? 

 

HEM:                      (laughing):  No. H-E-M.  Isn't that the craziest thing you ever                                         heard?  I guess one day I ought to think about changing it to                                   something a little more specific.

 

CHARLSIE:             What?  Like, He?  Heard?  Does it have to start with an "H"?                                Or, you could just drop the "M" and be "HI".  It would make                                 introductions a lot simpler.

 

BOY:                      (looking confused).  Y'all are silly.  Hey, Charlsie, you want                                 to get something to eat with us? We’re going over to Mrs.                                   Coley’s house. You’re welcome to join us.

 

CHARLSIE:             You mean with you and "HIM"? (They start laughing)                                                    Okay, though I don’t think I’m exactly her favorite cup of tea.

 

BOY:                      That’s alright. She doesn’t seem to care for HEM either                                      (pointing at HEM. The three of them are laughing and                                                   walking down the street.)

 

 

ACT 1  SCENE 3

(A few days later, AUNT MAMA and CHARLSIE are once again on the porch, this time shelling green peas, and this time CHARLSIE seems very excited. She’s shelling very fast, not paying much attention to what she’s doing.)

 

CHARLSIE:             You know how some people's toes look kind of gnarly, like                                  the roots of that walnut tree?  His ain't like that.  His toes line                               up so nice, like little soldiers. Perfect little straight soldiers.                                  They're slender. But not bony. Not like mine.  And his                                                   second toe is barely higher than his big toe.  Not like                                           Bascom's.  I just hate the way his big toe sticks out above all                           the rest.  Like it wanted to outgrow the others.

 

AUNT MAMA:         Girl, what are you talkin' about?  (She raps CHARLSIE                                       gently on the hand). Don't pick at 'em so hard. You goin' to                                 scratch the meat.

 

CHARLSIE:             They're so clean. Pink. I betcha they smell good, too.

 

AUNT MAMA:         It don't sound a whole lot like you talkin' about his feet.                                       (CHARLSIE blushes) Well, I'm glad he knows how to take a                               bath.  And whatcha mean, wantin' to smell somebody's feet?                                Lord, how have I raised you?  Why were you lookin' at this                                  boy's feet in the first place?

 

CHARLSIE:             (laughing).  I didn't start off lookin' at his feet.  I jus saw the                               back of his head.  Lord, he's got the blackest hair.  Then he                               turned around, and, I don't know, I jus' kind of worked my                                   way down. 

 

AUNT MAMA:         Well, I hope you didn't spend too much time in the middle.                                  (She starts laughing at CHARLSIE, who looks shocked).

 

CHARLSIE:                       I'm serious, Mama.  He's beautiful.  Oh, I hope he                                              stays all summer.  You think he might want to go to                                            the movies? Or, maybe take a little driving trip.

 

AUNT MAMA:                   Well, I guess you could ask him.  I don't care much for                                         the Coley's though.  They always runnin' around with                                         their heads pulled up higher than anybody else.  You                                         could ask him.  If he says no, well, I guess they ain't                                           nothin' you can do about it.

 

CHARLSIE:                       He won't say no will he?  What should I say to him?

 

AUNT MAMA:                   You don't need to say anything.  Just call him up and                                         tell him who you are and ask him does he like                                                     watching movies.  What movie's playin'?

 

CHARLSIE:                       (pretending to look worried):  I don't know.  Will that                                           matter?

 

AUNT MAMA:                   No, honey, I don't think that's goin' to matter too                                                 much. (glances at the clock on the porch).  You better                                         go on, huh? 

 

CHARLSIE:                       Well, we may get something to eat afterward. I don’t                                           think you should wait up for me.  I know you’ve been                                         tired lately.

 

 

AUNT MAMA:                   Don’t  worry, Charlsie.  I took out a policy a long long                                         time ago, when you was just a baby.

 

CHARLSIE:                       (looking genuinely shocked) Mama, I don’t care                                                  nothing about that.  You know I don’t.

 

AUNT MAMA:                   (pretends she didn’t hear CHARLSIE calling her                                                  ‘Mama’) Oh, I know.  I want to hear a song, Charlsie.                                                    You think you can sing a song for me?

 

CHARLSIE:                        (Begins to sing).  “When you find me, you will know                                           me. Cause I’ve always been here.  All the trips you’ve                                         taken, you were never alone.” 

 

AUNT MAMA:                   You got the sweetest voice.   I never get tired of                                                 hearing it.  You should sing, more, Charlsie.  Go to                                             that school in Birmingham.

 

CHARLSIE:                       I’m not leaving you.  Anyway, what good is singing                                              except something to pass the time away. Nothing                                               useful about that.

 

AUNT MAMA:                   Lord, I hear you talk, and I feel badly.  I hope I’ve                                               done you right. Well, you better leave me now if you                                           plan on making that movie.

 

 

ACT 1  SCENE 4

 (Later that afternoon.  A rundown bar in Birmingham.  A man sits at the piano.  Charlsie and Hem approach.  He looks at them but continues to play. )

 

CHARLSIE:                       Charles R. Elliott.

 

MAN:                                Now, whoever’s using my full name is either after me,                                                   or wants to give me something.  What category do                                              you fall into?

 

CHARLSIE:                      You don’t recognize me, do you?  I didn’t really think                                           you would.  Chubby little hands and feet and face can                                         change, I guess. Still, I don’t know, I guess I was                                                hoping.

 

MAN:                                Do I know you, girl?  You need to state your point                                               cause I need to get back to my business.

 

CHARLSIE:                       You don’t know who I am, at all, do you?

 

MAN:                                I don’t believe I ever laid eyes on you before.  Or Him.

 

CHARLSIE:                       Careful what you say. 

 

MAN:                                Well, I ain’t sayin you  don’t look a little familiar to me.

 

CHARLSIE:                       I ought to look more than familiar to you.

 

MAN:                                You’re a strange one, aren’t you?  He with you?

 

CHARLSIE:                       That’s my friend.  Drove over from Haleyville.

 

MAN:                                Haleyville?  (Takes a deep breath). Well. Well.

 

CHARLSIE:                       Your eyes starting to clear up?

 

MAN:                                (Sits down heavily into the chair).  All them years.                                              (He looks at CHARLSIE again).  Oh my God.  My                                               God.  Look at your hair.  (Shaking his head).  I                                                             should’ve known by that hair.  I only saw that one time                                  before.  And that was a long time ago.  Well. 

 

MAN:                                What’s your name, child?

 

CHARLSIE:                      Named after you.  Charlsie Maine.

 

MAN:                                (smiles). That’s your Aunt’s doing.  (Reaches into his                                         wallet, pulling out a picture of a child about ten years                                         old and hands it to her).

 

CHARLSIE:                      Where did you get this?  She knew where you were?                                                    All this time, she knew you where to find you. And                                                   you’ve only been a hour away, all this time?

 

MAN:                                It was more than an hour away, child.  It was a                                                             lifetime. You don’t think I didn’t think about you every                                         day of my life.  I never stopped thinking about you.                                            You were like a ghost, following me around.  I almost                                                  convinced myself that you didn’t exist.  When that                                             feeling came, I’d take out your picture. You don’t                                           know what it was like for me.

 

CHARLSIE:                       No, I don’t.  I don’t know what it was like for you at all.                                          I didn’t have the chance to find out. There’s                                                        something Aunt Mama used to say, “They ain’t                                                             nothing you can do about it”.  Well, I don’t know what I                                         believe, but I tell you this.  I’ll never believe that.

 

CHARLES:                        Well, how did you find me, girl?

 

CHARLSIE:                      It wasn’t’ all that hard, when you know where to look.

                                        Or, you got Mrs. Coley as a neighbor.  She’s the one                                         told me about your music.

 

MAN:                                Berta Coley.  Still got her nose stuck everyone it don’t                                         belong.  Well, what do you want? You want me to say                                         I’m sorry, that I’ll make it up to you. Well, don’t hold                                            your breath. You know when your mother left me, it                                            felt like she had taken all the air with her.  The room                                           was dry, sucked of air, and I couldn’t breathe.  I was                                           standing there with you in my arms, her body on the                                           bed, curled up like she was sleeping, and I couldn’t                                             catch my breath.  And all I wanted to do was curl up                                           right beside her and sleep, like her, but I couldn’t. I                                             had you. But I couldn’t do that either. I felt part of me                                         had died with her and how was I gonna be able to                                               raise a kid feeling like that. I was empty. Shot.  

 

CHARLSIE:                      You weren’t the only one she left.  Did you ever think                                         about that?

 

CHARLES:                        Look, girl.  I left that life a long time ago.  Got a new                                           one, now.  How is Fayrene?

 

CHARLSIE:                      She ain’t too good.  I got to sit down. I feel a little sick.

 

CHARLES:                        Bernie, bring ‘em something to drink.  Well, Charlsie                                           Maine, here’s to you.(holds up his drink and nods to                                           her)

 

CHARLSIE:                      Yep. To me. (drinks the liquor).  You drink this all the                                         time?  Hmmm. I can see how you might get used to it.                                          We’re leaving at eight tomorrow morning.  We’re                                                staying at the Holiday Inn.

 

CHARLES:                        Know how to play pool?

 

CHARLSIE:                      Guess so.

 

CHARLES:                        The side pockets are the trickiest.  (tries to steady her                                         cue stick but CHARLSIE holds onto it more tightly)                                              You have to angle them just right, or you                                                            can kiss it goodbye.

 

CHARLSIE:                      I think I can figure it out.  Anyway, I just want to play.                                                    It’s just a game, isn’t it?

 

CHARLES:                        Yep, just a game. 

 

CHARLSIE:                       You believe in second chances, don’t you? 

 

CHARLES:                        Nope, not really.  I believe in the statute of limitations                                         for second chances, and mine has been expired long                                         time ago.  God, the way you say that, just, I don’t                                               know, brings back a lot of memories.  You don’t look                                           like her, but you sure talk like her. Maybe your eyes a                                                   little.  If I close my eyes, it could be her.

 

CHARLSIE:                       (softly) Close your eyes, then. 

 

CHARLES:                        (with eyes closed): Yep.  That’s her. A voice like a                                             peach. (opens his eyes and his voice hardens).  What                                         did you come here for?  Weren’t you afraid of what                                             you might find?

 

CHARLSIE:                       I didn’t think about it that way.  I just knew one day I’d                                                   find you.  I didn’t care anymore what I found.

 

CHARLES:                        Well, look around you, girl.  This is as good as it gets.                                          (starts to whistle).

 

 

 

 

ACT 1  SCENE 5

 (Next morning.  CHARLSIE and HEM are putting their bags in the trunk of the car).

 

HEM:                                You ready?

 

CHARLSIE:                      Just about.  (She opens the driver’s door and starts to                                         get in.  She hears someone whistling.  She looks at                                            HEM.  He nods.  She gets out of the car.  She sees                                            her father walking toward them).

 

CHARLES:                         Guess you’re going.  (He stands next to CHARLSIE                                           awkwardly. She takes his hand in hers and pats it, like                                         a mother does to a child).

 

CHARLSIE:                      Yep, and there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it. (He                                            grins widely at her and squeezes her hand).

 

CHARLES:                        Guess not. Take care of yourself, girl. (CHARLSIE                                              opens the passenger door and slides into the car. As                                         the car drives away, she licks her finger and holds it                                           up into the wind.)